Toddlers are notoriously unruly, but here’s a disciplinary tactic you probably haven’t considered.

27-year-old soldier Joshua Tabor, stationed at Lewis-McChord in Tacoma, Washington, told police he used the controversial torture technique on his four-year-old daughter after flying into a rage because the child wouldn’t recite her ABCs. The practice has been around for centuries, but became a hot button topic during “war on terror” controversies when it was revealed that suspected terrorists were being subjected to the practice during interrogations.

Tabor admits to waterboarding his daughter because the child has a fear of water. Tabor was arrested after he was sighted wearing a Kevlar helmet and threatening to “smash windows.” His girlfriend initially disclosed the incident to police, and the little girl was located, bruised and cowering in a closet:

Mr Tabor’s daughter was found hiding in a cupboard with bruises on her back and throat. When asked how she got her injuries, she replied: “Daddy did it.”

Tabor has been charged with assault and confined to the base. His daughter has been removed from his custody and placed with social services.

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A man in the United Kingdom has avoided jail time on assault charges because the judge decided he should be let off because he was religious.

Shamso Miah attacked another man in a London bank after the two argued about who was next in line. Witnesses and CTV showed Miah attacking the other man both inside and outside the bank.

According to the BBC, Judge Cherie Booth, the wife of former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair, told Miah that violence had to be taken seriously, but said she would suspend his prison sentence because he was a religious person. She helpfully added “You are a religious man and you know this is not acceptable behavior.”

Quite rightly the UK National Secular Society has complained to the appropriate Government body that the decision was unjust and discriminatory.

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Apparently Pedobear is now an official Olympic Games mascot, at least according to this newspaper article from Poland.

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Coffee.

A day should never start without at least a cup; or a pot, of coffee. For most of us it’s a simple matter of lining up at your local coffee shop and getting some magical formula of coffee and cream, and maybe some sugar, before progressing though the rest of your morning.

In some of those coffee shops though there lurks many a Michaelangelo who create intricate pieces of art floating on the surface of that coffee you just bought. Here’s a small sampling of some of that delicate art.

hat tip to Digital Inspiration

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An 11-year-old girl gave birth to a baby boy somewhere in the Northeast, the girl’s family reported to Fox News.

Details about the family and their location were withheld due to the girl’s shockingly young age, but the girl’s mother made a creepily blase statement about her daughter’s ordeal:

“My daughter and (her) baby are fine, and the baby is absolutely beautiful,” said the mother of the 11-year-old girl.

The unnamed girl isn’t the only one in the news for having a child while still a child this week- a nine-year-old Chinese girl delivered a baby by c-section this week in Changchun. Pregnancy at such a young age is extremely risky, and children of that age are rarely at a proper developmental stage to physically handle the condition without complications. A national expert on high risk pregnancy, Abdullah Al-Khan, spoke to Fox about the risks to which the girl was exposed:

“Her body is clearly not defined for pregnancy with its short stature,” Al-Khan said. “Her chest is not extensively developed for breast tissue, her bones aren’t quite fused, and once you expose a child this young to high amounts of progesterone and especially estrogen, there is (a possibility) that it could halt her growth.”

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Do your Valentine’s Day plans include getting busy in a Burger King bathroom?

I read your mind, didn’t I? Romantic, but have you considered something a little more upscale? If the idea of bonking where you eat doesn’t make you want to puke and you’re in Canada, a restaurant called Mildred’s Kitchen scored a free press coup this week with an unorthodox Valentine’s Day promotion encouraging lusty patrons to get their rocks off in the restroom. The words “shag in our facilities” aren’t mentioned, of course, but careful verbiage on the restaurant’s website paints a clear enough picture:

On its website, Mildred’s asks: “Have you given any thought to moving beyond the bedroom?

“Check out Mildred’s Sexy Bathrooms throughout the weekend of Big Love. You get the picture.”

An owner of the restaurant confirms the innuendo, and the restaurant hopes to become one of “101 places to have sex before you die.”

“We’ve always had little trysts in our bathrooms,” says chef/co-owner Donna Dooher, pointing to lingering weekday lunches as a popular time. “We’re taking it to the next level on Valentine’s weekend.”

Local public health officials have no problem with the promotion either- they say the encouraged activities are “pretty much similar to the other human functions going on in there.” Way to kill my libido and appetite for food in one fell swoop.

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Bankers: not the most popular bunch recently, so let’s have a laugh at them, eh? The Macquarie Bank worker in the top left of this picture was caught stealing glimpses of nude Miranda Kerr pics online while his superior chatted to Australian network Seven News.

It is, to be frank, gold. I particularly like how he spins round at the end towards camera, inadvertently revealing his identity and securing himself a night on the sofa.

[YouTube, via Geekologie]

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Getting anonymously groped often results in the groper feeling all happy about it and the gropee generally not finding out whose wandering hands got all up in their business.

However, those overpriced memorabilia shots snapped while the ride is generally at its most adrenaline-y point may have finally done some good. Christina Esquivel was on Disney’s Tower of Terror ride at the Anaheim park with her 12-year-old daughter- if you’re familiar with the attraction, it’s based on old Twilight Zone episodes and simulates a plunging elevator in an old hotel. Esquivel says that when the ride became dark, a man grabbed one of her breasts.

When disembarking from the ride, Esquivel managed to snag a picture of the post-groping moment from the souvenir kiosk. The picture seems to depict a man either reaching to grab or pulling away from the woman’s boobage. Busted. Esquivel’s 12-year-old daughter says the men were creepy throughout, and that she even pointed out her mother’s engagement ring to deter the cretins. (The groper’s companion allegedly cheered his pal on in his gropiness.) Esquival hopes the man will be found and made to answer for the random sexual assault- she says the experience left her feeling “violated.”

In a statement, Disney officials say they are taking the matter seriously:

“We take this seriously and have no tolerance for this type of behavior. We are working with the Anaheim Police Department on the next steps.”

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But that’s the most boring one of all of them!

[Failblog]

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A 27-year-old Connecticut woman and her three newborn boys were found dead in their Connecticut home, and the woman’s mother said she was unsure that her daughter even knew she was pregnant.

Frances Hope of Redwood Circle came home to find her daughter and three newborns dead on the floor, after the woman apparently went into labor while home alone. By the time authorities responded to the scene, the woman, believed to be Virginia Hope, and all three babies were dead. Detective Ben Trabka confirmed the bizarre account to the Stamford Advocate:

“We received a medical call and found that a woman had died,” Trabka said. “It appears that she died giving birth to the triplets in the house.”

Even more odd is that the triplets appeared to be full-term. Deaths in childbirth are relatively rare in America, with the most recent statistics showing that less than 600 women die annually from complications in childbirth. Hope leaves behind a son, 6, and daughter, 2.

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